Are you revealing too many personal details in your online dating endeavors? Finding the right partner online is predicated on sharing enough of yourself to attract someone who can complement your life. However, some users can go a little overboard, often with the right intentions, and unintentionally reveal too much about themselves on online dating platforms.
Most platforms will ask users to create a profile that outlines their hobbies, personal and professional aspirations, pet peeves, and other such information. These details help potential partners on the platform sift through the hundreds to potentially thousands of profiles they see to find someone they are most suited to. Once two users like each other’s profiles, match, and begin talking, the chances of oversharing are at their highest.
Dating app users are advised to be as authentically themselves as possible during the talking stages, after all, and thus require a fair bit of sharing. Counselor Georgina Sturmer encourages people to assess why they feel the need to share personal details about themselves so soon after they meet new people. She notes that while people have to be a little vulnerable to let other folks in, oversharing is often a symptom of an underlying issue.
Maybe we are hoping a potential partner will look after or rescue us, the counselor posits, or maybe we overshare to test new people and see if they are willing to listen and trustworthy enough to confide in. Sturmer also notes that sharing in person and online can be quite different as online interactions are often seen differently when viewed by strangers without context.
With many modern online daters typically interacting with more than one potential partner at a time, sharing and sometimes oversharing can be a way for people to gauge whether the other individual has what it takes to provide the understanding and support we need. Clinical psychologist Dr. Carolyn Keenan advises dating app users to find a healthy middle ground where topics that leave us feeling the most vulnerable are left off the table.
Once two individuals have built enough mutual respect and trust between themselves, they can move on to deeper discussions. Dr. Keenan says that the ultimate goal is to develop an environment where both parties can grow more vulnerable and honest with each other.
However, Keenan warns that trauma dumping (or trauma sharing), which involves revealing details about past traumas too soon into a relationship, can lead to a ‘false sense of intimacy’ between two people. Bonding over trauma may result in an unstable foundation for relationships, she notes, while bonding over shared values, future goals, and generally positive experiences can lead to healthier connections and balanced relationships.
Striking a balance between sharing what is necessary while at the same time avoiding oversharing during online dating on platforms provided by companies like Momo Inc. (NASDAQ: MOMO) will help you to sidestep some of the pitfalls that could be ahead of you in terms of privacy risks or ending up with the wrong partner.
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